Rugbyguysb

11:38 am:

Sláinte y'all!

04:08 pm: So I totally Fagged out
There's only one real thing that will make my day get off to a bad start, and the tart little Brintey Spears/Teen Pop Star Wannabe this morning during my local routine did just that.

You see, I'm a fan, no a big fan, no actually a huge fan of my every day morning cuppa. It's part of my ritual of emerging from metro, stepping across the street and joining in line. I like my first sip, with the fresh city air/smog wind as I step out the door. It makes me happy.

Now, when someone interrupts this process, I tend to not have such a good morning. Ergo, here are my rules.

1) It's coffee, yes I know that your super-duper venti triple half caf, dry, extra shot 2 percent caramel apple mocha latte is important to you. But it should be important enough to remeber and know exactly what you want. I prefer "venti drip" but like I said, it's coffee.

2) When the local starbucks attempts to expidite the long lines by having someone pre-order your drink, don't scoff...just wait in line for the register, pay and pick it up. It means that your drink will be hot and ready when paying. It also ensures that my coffee will be hot too, and I like it that way.

3)Just like knowing your drink, KNOW THE DAMN PRICE and have your money available. My venti drip is $1.98. I have my two dollar bills out of my wallet and hand it over. I'm not gonna touch the debate about math skills in America, that can come later, but we all love and understand the concept of money. Also, you don't need to use your Amex for three dollars, plan in advance kids.

4) If you need to dress your drink by adding sugar/artificial sweetener and or more milk, then you also need to know how to fix it. Debating over the turbindino versus the splenda shouldn't be very important. The first is raw sugar, the second is a no calorie artificial sweetener. I want my chance at the half-and-half for my coffee. Again, know your preference.

5) Under no circumstances should you ever, ever, ever dig through your change purse to find enough money. If you can't pay for the super duper latte, then don't order it. I don't care if you're scrounging through the bottom pile of lint in your knock off Louis Vuitton Purse that you bought on the sidewalk.

Now, I understand that some mornings may be made a little bit more groggy than others because of last nights debauchery; however, espressly to the aforementioned Britney wannabe, "IT SHOULD TAKE ABSOLUTLY LESS THAN ONE MINUTE OF INTERACTION WITH THE CASHIER TO GET YOUR DRINK PAID FOR."

You see, miss thing broke all of the rules this morning, causing a delay in my expected happiness. I don't mean one, I mean all of them. And while I've scouted out the  locations within a four block radius of my office, I've found the one that I prefer. I know that I can go to others, but this particular shop is part of my moring happiness ritual.

So let it be stated that these are now the rules. Any violation will result in me shredding that knock off bag of yours, quickly retooling it into a cat-o-nine tails, and flogging you to within an inch of your life.

We thank you for shopping at Starbucks.

05:27 pm: Guide to Gay Bar Behavior for Straight Girls
Let me preface this entire conversation though by saying there are actually a good number of straight girls that I LOVE to have in my bar. They are the ones who are laid back and chill. They know how to behave and have a good time without making a spectacle of themselves. I don't have a problem with straight girls.

That being said.... just like Pavlov's dog, experience has taught me to react poorly when I see a straight girl walk up to the bar (or worse a group of them). I have had enough bad experiences that immediately I begin to cringe a little inside thinking of all the possible things that could face me for the evening.

So to help build a bridge of understanding I'd like to offer Mr. Bartenders Guide to Gay Bar Behavior for Straight Girls:

We are not here for your entertainment:
You are not going to the circus or the zoo - the gay boys are not a spectacle or a novelty here for your entertainment. If you see two boys flirting or kissing, please do not point and/or laugh. If you want to go to a gay bar to be entertained by the fags - please just stay home. One time I was out at JRs and this girl insisted on going into the guy's restroom because she wanted "to see what you boys do in there". You know what I do in a bathroom? I pee. Shocking I know...

Do not expect special treatment:
I know that you are daddy's little princess, but here you're out ranked by a bar full of queens. Lose the attitude. Oh and stop flaunting your breasts, they don't work here. Do not use them to try and score free drinks from either the bartender or the other customers. Oh and since you're now buying your own drinks - remember to tip, it's rude not to.

Do not try to play matchmaker:
Yes I know that you have a hot friend who is gay, but that does not mean he's right for every cute guy you see out at the gay bar. Gay attraction is more complex than gay man + gay man = perfect match. Gay men can be quite finicky bitches when it comes to dating and unless your gay friend ASKS you to approach a guy on his behalf, don't even think about it. In fact, if he does ask you to do it I'd caution him against it. Personally I'm much more likely to talk to a guy who has the balls to come over to me himself instead of sending someone in to break the ice.

Be aware of space limitations:
Bars tend to get quite packed & crowded on busy nights, gay bars are no exception. Sure our bars may play better music but if you're not on the dance floor - don't dance. No one wants you bumping into them and spilling their cocktail. And trust me, if I have to watch you mimicking the latest slutty-teen-pop-superstar I'm gonna need all the booze I can get. Take it to the dance floor, if there's no dance floor- don't dance. Oh and if you know you're going to a crowded bar, leave your supersized purse at home. No one wants to keep getting hit with that thing every time you turn around.

Don't be homophobic:
Yes I know this one should be a no brainer, but sadly it's not. I can understand how you may get upset with a someone at the bar. I know for a fact that some gay men can be complete dicks and deserve a good ol' insult hurled their way. But please do not resort to calling someone a fag. There are plenty of other insults at your disposal - you do not need to chose the cheap and easy route that will inevitably piss off all the other guys at the bar. Also if someone assumes you're a lesbian or you get hit on by a girl, don't get all offended. Oh and please do not make it a point to inform everyone that you are not a lesbian. Really we don't care, if we do - we'll ask.

Flirt with the gay boys wisely:
Remember there's a difference between someone flirting and someone just being a dumb ass. I'm always up for someone throwing a compliment my way even if its from someone with whom I have no interest. I appreciate it if you tell me I have beautiful eyes, or a good smile - to that I say thank you. I will take that compliment. I do not appreciate you asking me "are you sure you're gay???" because yes I am sure - I am very gay, I have references. Or worse yet "what? you're gay? that's such a shame" - no it's not a shame and it's not a waste, I love being gay. Hell it prevents me from dating girls who would say stupid comments like that!

Get out of your head voice:
There is nothing more annoying to me when bartending than that one high and shrill voice that carries through the din of drunken conversations and loud music and pierces right through my ear. If your speaking voice is like Janice from Friends you need to take it down a couple notches (or a hundred). Remember you vocal cords are in your throat, not your head.

Above all, relax and don't be obnoxious:
I understand how sometimes it's fun for you to escape getting hit on by straight men and just want to let your hair down and have fun. That's great. But not having to impress a straight guy does not excuse you from having to behave yourself. Out of control drunks are annoying, even more so when they don't have a penis and you can't take advantage of their intoxicated state. Ladies, we love having you at our bar, but please just be laid back, chill and fun. No one wants to have to babysit the straight girl when we're trying to get laid...


That's all I have for the moment...anyone have anything to add?

09:21 am: for Ex Nihlo/Whitman 22
Greensboro, (N.C.) — Atlantic Coast Conference Commissioner John Swofford announced today that a foul is tentatively scheduled to be called against Duke sometime in the first half of their game with UNC in Chapel Hill, next Tuesday, February 7th.
.</font>( More to come )

12:07 pm: Moving on
So I haven't really posted here in a while and think that its more of a lack of creative juices that I get from LJ.  That being said, I'm taking up residence at DrunkenessProhibited  I'll periodically check by, but for now LJ has lost its thrill.

12:22 pm: 2006
Here's wishing everyone out there a joyous, prosperous and all around great 2006. Happy New Year!

05:26 pm: Holiday Party Tour from Hell
Once again its that time of year...Holiday parties

Friday Night
Under 7 Soccer team I coach 6:30-7:30 with visit from Santa
Annual Scorpio's non birthday holiday celebration 8:00 until

Sat Night
Renegades Rugby Party
Neighborhood Bartenders schtick
Local Homo DNC Fundraising Apparatus Meet and Greet

Sunday
Wake Forest Area Alumni Senior Reception

Monday
Office Party

Tuesday
Check into the betty!

have a good weekend y'all and hope you're as festive as I!

02:47 pm: Merry something or other
After meeting with an attorney today and his advice, I want to say to all of you:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of other, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make the United States great (not to imply that the United States is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only United States in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification and withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.*

* this wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting.

My very best regards,

Scott


ps...pilfered from an email, but again just fun to share.

02:37 pm: Seven in Seven
7-n-7


From across the pond, Uncle Bob tagged me. It was email.These answers took a lot longer to come up with than I thought. Who knew navel-gazing required such good eyesight?

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1) quit a job spontaneously
2) have a knee replacement surgery
3) conduct a symphony orchestra
4) hike the appalachain trail in its entirety
5) get published
6) watch the AFI's top 100 films
7) be crowned emperor in the supreme court

7 things I can do:
1) dislocate both shoulders at will
2) take a field hockey penalty stroke
3) read music
4) make chocolate truffles from scratch
5) have a mean poker face
6) read a harry potter book in 24 hours (the big new ones)
7) make damn good coffee

7 things I cannot do:
1) suppress a church giggle
2) see without corrective lenses
3) care about the olsen twins
4) remember birthdays
5) play golf
6) not be judgmental
7) take penicillin

7 things that attract me to the [opposite of my] opposite sex:
1) quirkiness
2) smarts
3) laugh at my jokes
4) give good hugs
5) short hair
6) eat more than a salad--no dressing
7) can drink like the bush twins

7 things that I say most often:
1) jack and diet
2) yes double
3) please
4) you're nasty
5) have a good day
6) see ya
7) tot ziens

7 celebrity crushes:
1) Matthew McConaughey
2) Michael Chiarelli
3) John King
4) Colin Farrell
5) Eliza Dushku
6) Bill Hemmer
7) Maggie Gyllenhaal

7 people I want to do this (no one I've tagged should feel obligated. But you should really do it, since I don't usually tag just anyone.) Order does not indicate preferential treatment.
1) Barkis
2) d2leddy
3) schrodertx
4) grimmacehug
5) geomikes
6) whitman22
7) legalmoose

01:30 pm: Supreme Court Nominee
Ok ok, I know its wrong, but seeing as how Harriet Miers graduated from Southern Methodist University with an undergraduate degree in Math. I just can't help from wondering...

Alright I know she can count to:

One: apple eaten by Eve, rib taken from Adam
Two: number of animals of each sex on the ark with Noah
Three: Natures of Christ: Man, God, Holy Ghost
Seven: Days of Creation
Ten: Plagues on Egypt
Twelve: Apostles of Christ
Forty: Days/nights of the flood, years the Hebrews wanders, days spent by Christ with the Devil

But after that does it just go to Multitudes? I don't personally know anyone who studied math at Southern Methodist University so this question really has been burning in my mind. Any thoughts?

12:15 pm: And in other news
It appears that Senate Majority Leader William Frist (R-TN) recently dumped his stock holdings in HCA, the hospital chain founded by his father. Citing that he was trying to avoid a "conflict of interest," the stock tanked a month later...ya think DOJ will pursue this interesting stock stale as vigorously as it did domestic diva Martha's?

12:06 pm: I just don't get it
One would think that those living in and around Washington, DC would participate in some sort of fact checking/event scheduling before planning any events. ESPECIALLY THE WHITE HOUSE! But they evidently don't do that as noticed this morning when crossing the National Mall on the way to work. Apparently the fist lady is going to be holding a book reading festivle on the mall tomorrow...at the same time as this http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/22/AR2005092202186.html

I guess their people don't do fact checking but an anti-war rally and a book reading by the first lady at the same time/same place should make for some interesting interactions kids. I think I'm gonna keep my happy butt (and FBI file) away from this one.

05:09 pm: Dear Alcohol:
First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls:
While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends
when I know for a fact they do not want to talk to me all hours of the night?

2. Eating:
Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries) I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness:
Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore:
The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,
aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order
to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour!) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your biggest fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon 5. Specificity

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.


pilfered, but not sure where from ...

06:51 pm: ick
its ten til seven on an Saturday night, and I'm working. Last details of a benefit I'm throwing on Tuesday. The scary part is we're honoring Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Ut), Delegate Donna Christensen (D-VI), Dr. Anthony Fauci, NIH, Steve Sternberg USAToday, William Schuyler, GlaxoSmithKline, and a young girl Hydeia Broadbent. All this for HIV. Some respectable names, and all have said they will show...should be interesting to have Hatch, Christensen and Fauci in the same room at the same time!

05:40 pm: http://www.nevinkellygallery.com/artists/gallery/210.jpg

05:39 pm: A good frined of mine is doing a show...Nevin Kelly Gallery U Street
Born Daphne, Scholinski grew up near Chicago. A tomboyish young girl, she suffered intense bullying for not being girly enough. She became a troubled teen whose behavioral problems doctors attributed to a diagnosed "gender identity disorder." At age 15, she was committed to a psychiatric hospital, where she stayed for three years

Her treatment was designed to make her identify as a "sexual female." It included make-up lessons, mandatory dress requirements and coaching in the art of flirtation. A 1997 book recounting the experience, "The Last Time I Wore a Dress: A Memoir" (Penguin/Putnam), received national attention.

Unsurprisingly, the artist’s confinement - and the questionable and spectacularly unsuccessful course of treatment - forms the organizing theme of Dylan’s work. Each painting is like a personal journal entry commenting on a facet of the artist’s tortured childhood and subsequent steps at resolving the identity issues that had caused so much pain.

What is surprising about these raw, edgy works is their wit and elegance. Humor has been the artist’s path from darkness. It forms a path for us, as well, providing a safe route for us to enter into a world that we would otherwise find too disquieting. The artist’s wit assures us that these are not the rantings of a mental patient. They are lucid, self-aware statements of an artist who sees his history with a surprising level of clarity, acceptance and forgiveness.

Painted in the grays, blacks and foggy colors of a nightmare, the paintings are nonetheless aesthetically pleasing. They are technically strong and exquisitely balanced. Each work commands attention, compelling us to focus closely—to dig through layers of history and subtle (sometimes not so subtle) allusions so that we might reach an understanding of the artist’s past and his triumphant arrival at the present. They invite us to feel our own emotions and to connect with the artist’s. They seek unity through empathy.

Dylan explains, "I paint for my survival and myself … without my art, I would likely be dead. My purpose is to encourage the sympathetic indulgence of emotions. If you can reach these emotions in yourself, you may identify them in others, and we will all have better understanding, compassion, and tolerance of each other."

04:30 pm: My Hair Hurts
Ok so after having served as a consultant for the greater part of the past two years and doing some other fun odd jobs, I've returned to my old place...One of my first tasks was to put together a benefit breakfast that is occuring next Tuesday. This entails identifying six people to honor, booking the same location from last year, identifying a host committee, finding corporate sponsors, and filling a room with 100 or so people. I'm on the verge of a slight breakdown, as noted by the fact that my hair now hurts. This has been accomplished since August 22...Someone buy me a beer please.

02:04 pm: Why Why Why
When did it become acceptable to wear flip flops with long pants? And on that note, if you're going to wear said flip flops, at least have the common decency to get a pedicure. Nasty fungus toes were witnessed earlier today.

Blech

02:16 pm: In other news
I'm actually thinking that Hillary could win in 08 given the latest debacle of New Orleans. It just takes a twisted soul like me to register all of the liberals from the big easy in Houston! Watch out Tom Delay, your gerrymanderd seat could be up too! The way I see it, 20,000 newly registered voters in Texas could change the outcome...

04:16 pm: Twists of Fate
So it seems that my life is my life, but is destined to be intertwinded with odd twists of fate forever. Maybe I should call it serendipity. Ran into my old boss about a week ago and long and short I'm back at the old place of employment. I never really expected to come back here, but all in all its good. I miss the work and have been for a while, health advocacy is somewhere that my heart lies. All in all the past two years have been interesting...I took some much needed time to withdraw into myself do some soul searching and goofing off and ultimately emerge as a happier stronger person.

To those I haven't seen in a while, miss ya and hope to reconnect soon. To others, I think I'll be back posting more regularly. Anyway, see ya soon.